Seeking Advice

Hey everyone,
    i really need help with something, but i dont know really where to start... let me explain...
    at some moments either when im reciting mantras or reading some dharma talks or i can even be off doing other things and ill be over-welmed by anxiety attacks... i feel like im going to die and the anxiety comes from feeling i dont want to yet because i feel my karma isnt pure enough to gain a good rebirth, so i worry...
    the odd thing is, there are days when i feel very comfortable and i think if i were to die right now i am very peaceful feeling and confident to take a good rebirth...
     
     i know the dharma is suppose to ease your mind but sometimes it makes me worry even more... in the past this is why i could bounce in and out of practicing buddhism... i wouldnt have these feelings if i just ignored practice and went about every day life...

      i know this has something to do with karma ive read that your karma can block progress and cultivation sometimes...

      so what should i do about this, it really bugs me and i tried to think its an illusion when it starts happening but it only seems to get stronger and becomes to powerful to deal with at times... i also noticed it tends to strike me when im tired... do i not have proper empowerment? i really would like to get past this because it gets in the way of cultivating and becomming the Bodhisattva i want to be...
      ive tried to do Armor Protection many times when i feel this way and it seems to work but only for a few minutes before it returns...

        Thankx to anyone who lends help

                    Thom
         om mani padme hum

Lyciss.
Do you remember when the first anxiety attack occured?
What you were doing and where you were.




Thanks
Brenda

i cant really remember when but it was quite a long time ago... and im not really sure what i was doing or where i was... i just get them when ever i start practicing heavily...

     om mani padme hum

Did practicing bring on the anxiety attacks to begin with?

yea...
    om mani padme hum

Brother Lyciss

I wonder how much practice you are doing when the panic comes - maybe a sign of some imbalance.  Not that you shouldn't cultivate, but GM says we should lead a "normal" life - doing other things like other people do.  Physical activity to balance going deep into quietness (I get up from the computer at least twice a day).

There are other dharmic explanations and cures that are way beyond me - GM can see causes and find effective solutions to clear karma in a way not available to most of us.

Now I speak with my psychopharmacist hat on -
there are dharma-related explanations and there are other factors that effect everyone.  Panic attacks are not that rare, and panic disorder is a real saha-world affliction like depression, seizure disorder etc. that has many causes and many possible solutions.  Medication may not be the first line of defense, but it can help.  It is not wrong to treat afflictions with the best western medicine has to offer, especially when other avenues don't seem effective.  I do not believe that taking medication is short-circuiting a karmic consequence.  It is one more cause with one (at least) more effect.  Unnecessary suffering is unnecessary (hard to argue, eh?).  

lian hua dance, Pharm.D.

Our Masters would suggest seeing a Doctor as well first.
Other avenues can then be explored, as alternatives.

those arnt bad ideas... 8)
     i think i might need to get a bit more nature, i think ive cut back too much... lol ill try out some of the other ideas too, thankx...
     
       om mani padme hum

Hi Lyciss,

Hope you've been feeling better and anxiety-free.  :)

Dance made a very good point.  

I have a suggestion as well.

The attacks may be a result of purifying your karma.  It sounds weird but sometimes when we purify our karma, it can bring more of the karma we are supposed to experience to us sooner than it normally would have if we never practiced.

GM has said that whenever we become ill or have serious problems, this is our karma being worked out, and each incident we go through purifies our karma.

I don't want to scare you!  If this is the case,(just a possibility) it won't last forever. Think of it as the transition from caterpillar to butterfly.  I hope this is a good analogy to help explain.

I definitely agree that you should see a doctor, and you can also contact the temple to request for a consultation.  There are quite a few Masters there who speak English fluently and who would definitely be able to help you out.  

Regards,

Lu

Lyciss,

Elements of what you say resonate with experiences I've encountered. While I make no claims to have anything more than a basic level of understanding, I feel for you and so want to share what I've learned with you in the hope that it can help you progress on the path. I could be wrong, but you did ask...  ;D

If someone emotionally feels strong pulls at certain times, especially during one's cultivation or while one's Chi is at a low ebb (i.e. when you are tired), it's often because someone in the unseen world is trying to tell you something. The presence of a Yin spirit is in itself nothing to be alarmed at - it could be an ancestor or friend coming to you for help. Whoever it is, their energy will distort your Chi and cause you to feel anxiety even despair.

You need to ask a Master to find out who it is and what it wants - they may want you help them in specific ways. Also, try to recite the Rebirth Mantra 49 times a day and dedicate it to the spirits that are around you. You'll also want to make sure that you enrol your ancestors, attached spirits and spiritual enemies in Bardo whenever it's available near you.

After some work, you can help this spirit to let go and generate enough merit for them to have a happy rebirth, at which point you'll find that you feel comfortable and centred most of the time.

From experience, I'd also want you to read the following. When we first start to pray for spirits we need to remember that most of them aren't tantric adepts in the spirit world. They may be frightened by the bright lights of the Buddhas at first and may just want to watch ceremonies from a distance - persevere and you'll notice a change.

Lastly, don't try and invoke your protectors to come and sort them out! That could easily be misunderstood as a hostile move and if they are there for a specific karmic reason, your protector may well let them through anyway. Keep practicing Armour Protection but if you feel that drop in your energy coming on, try to go to your shrine and read the True Buddha Sutra, Amitabha Sutra or Ksitigarbha Sutra. Dedicate the merits to the spirits. The blessing will soothe them as it shows your intention is to help them.

Remember that in the spirit realm they may trapped in a mental state of fear and anxiety. That's what they are communicating to you. You need to calm them and assure them that you will help them to amass enough merits for a good rebirth. Do this often and you'll soon feel centred again.

Let me know how you get on,

Amitofo,
Tom

Oh, I forgot to add that this kind of thing happens when you start cultivating because the spirits can recognise how great your empowerment is and how much power and potential for the Boddhisattva career you know have. It should be thought of as a complement that they come to you for help!

AND you should take it as a complement that crypto-Master Tom comes to you to provide help.  Such good teaching!  Insight that the spirits spooking you may not be your enemies, that invoking protectors may spook them in turn, and seem unfriendly on your part.

Tom always gives better advice than I do.   :(

I am sure that my ancestors are not tantric adepts.  I think they are wandering around in their kilts wondering what these ceremonies are about.  It may take some education before they are comfortable with this process.

lian hua dance   :)

lian hua dance wrote (04/17/02 at 05:59:42):

author=lian hua dance link=board=chat;num=1018603630;start=0#13 date=04/17/02 at 05:59:42

wandering in their kilts ?  :o
Dance, your ancestors are Scotland origins ?

Boy....that is interesting . Imagine seeing them in praying ceremonies.  8)  Wonder will they feel terribly out of place ?