raychin08/07/02 at 20:59:12#1i am sure all of us want to become buddhas and leave samsara, but many of us want to get married and start a family too. don't you think that they conflict each other? aren't we suppose to detach ourselves from our family and friends eventually if we want to be enlightened? how do u address that? i guess we shouldn't date and marry, because of our pursuit of buddhahood? what are your takes on this?
Last edited 08/12/02 at 16:41:29 by Buddhafly
DragonBall08/07/02 at 22:25:02#2Re: marriage and buddhismLet nature takes its course. Whatever will come, will eventually come. Whatever not, do not waste your enery pursuing it. Go with the flow, take whatever comes and rest your mind in peace. Always set your priority in order. Buddhism No. 1, all else No. 2. Always be mindful of the present, do whatever's necessary and leave all outcome to the wind.
Easier said than done.
Amitofo.
salimant08/11/02 at 10:00:45#3Re: marriage and buddhismThis matter also confuses me a lot ???
It true that u say there are priorites in this life, and not
to worry about things that will come later
Its easy when you dont have expectation in your life
but consider my parents
as the eldest son, they would expect me to marry one day
what if i dont want to marry and pursue enlightment instead
they would certainly feel upset.. and i will feel guilty as well :P
is it a lot easier to reach enlightment when you are single? like monks or laymen...
or it is just the same with no difference at all if you are married?
Namo Amitofo
Lyciss08/12/02 at 15:27:09#4Re: marriage and buddhismHey there...
Marriage doesnt have to be a hindrence to your ability to reach enlightenment... if its in your mind that it will get in the way then it will... if you think about it... there are far more things besides marriage that can distract you from realization... food, hobbies, addictions, ect... these things can either help or hinder... its all on how you view them in your own mind... i am not married and have no kids but i probably have just as many distractions as those who do...
om mani padme hum
Buddhafly08/12/02 at 16:55:38#5Re: Marriage and Buddhism
I asked a Master this first question. Her reply was: No!
Buddhism talks about the middle way.
Also fate needs to be considered. With your family and career you still have to be responsible to hold for your family
and top practice Buddha Dharma.
Dragonball and Lyciss are indeed correct.
Last edited 08/12/02 at 16:57:26 by Buddhafly
Lyciss08/15/02 at 02:41:53#6Re: Marriage and BuddhismId like to add a little something i read about a while back... i was looking over this list of what is considered merit deeds and acts that will make you loose merit... example killing another person would cause you to loose 100 merits... and offering food to a hungry person is equal to 1 merit... it also says however that the results of such merits are not comprehendable...
anyways on the list it said those who stop the "family line" which means, decides to not have offspring will loose 50 merits... i was thinking wow thats a lot and half way to killing a person... whats up with that? i thought about it and thought about it... then something sorta made sense... if the human world is the only neutral place where enlightenment is capible of taking place... by having children you are potentially helping another being to a chance for enlightenment, without that chance they may be stuck in another form of samsara somewhere with no hope of exscape...
ok one last thought about this list of merits... do i believe the list is accurate... not really but it did give me perspective of good acts verses negative acts... and id share the entire list with you but i cant seem to find it... ohwell and the list also made life sound like a video game... lol
om mani padme hum
piggy11/27/02 at 01:04:01#7Re: Marriage and Buddhismwow lyciss this absolutly makes sense! It's funny to know :)
All I can add is,..see our grand master! he is married and has two childeren :)
ohm mani padme hum
vicky
mimosa11/27/02 at 12:36:59#8Re: Marriage and Buddhism#All I can add is,..see our grand master! he is married and has two childeren
just one additional note: Grand Master got married and had kids BEFORE he renounciated!! Very important point!!
Mimosa
LIANWAHYL01/08/03 at 06:43:45#9Re: Marriage and BuddhismTo get enlightenment do not get married verson is contradicting to recarnation to become human, the population will come to nil, so in the end no body for enlightenment, due to nil population. Very confusing???? Monks and Nuns what are your verdicts :-* :-/ :-X :-[ ??? :(??
mimosa01/08/03 at 09:36:15#10Re: Marriage and BuddhismLianwahyl
did you read it right? Lyciss and others said "Marriage doesnt have to be a hindrance to your ability to reach enlightenment... "
Also, "nil population" will never happen due to enlightement. YOu know how difficult it is to teach someone to walk on the correct path, let alone "enlightenment" :-(
Mimosa---Not a Nun
LIANWAHYL01/08/03 at 22:40:16#11Re: Marriage and BuddhismMimosa,
TYVM for the guidance.
Ami Tor Fo -- Lian Sen Siti Hom.
yamantaka01/11/03 at 01:02:55#12Re: Marriage and BuddhismI believe its all up to causes and conditions, thats what i think GM would say. It totally depends upon your affinity. I am getting married in about a year and i think its perfectly natural cuz a wife to me is going to be my future partner in the consort practice as well as best friend, lover, care giver, bearer of my youth, and spiritual partner. To be married should not be a hindrance but a possible blessing, and if it is a hindrance than i dont think you have the affinity to be married. One famous buddhist teacher who is one of my favorites is Guru Marpa because of who he was. Marpa was famous because he reached the highest accomplishments even though he was not a monk, he was an ordinary man in every sense of the word. He plowed the fields, had a farm, and had a wife who also was his consort, yet was also one of the most famous vajra gurus because he was the Guru of Milarepa!
well thats my two sense, take care always.
Om guru lian shen siddhi hum!
Luke