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When to explain and when to not...?

7 posts · started by Lyciss on 08/26/02 at 14:58:56 · last post 08/29/02 at 22:55:39

Lyciss08/26/02 at 14:58:56#1

Hey everyone...
i was in class today for massage school... and i was having a conversation with my partner as she was massaging my feet, we got onto the subject of naturalism because one of my instructors seemed to be into it... well my partner decided to mention to me that she was christian and that people shouldnt "get into" such things... i felt really compelled to mention my practices and even toss out that i was a buddhist... i remained silent and just asked her why she felt that way but she clamed up and she couldnt answer... which now that i think about either means shes not totally comfortable in what she believes or she just didnt have a valid answer...
i was feeling that if i were to mention my practices, it may put me at odds with her possibly since she already has decided that certain "things" shouldnt be done... and i remember reading one time about labels... if you claim to be something you immediately make friends and enemies by doing so... however if you were to remain "claimless" sorta speak then there is nothing that can be held agaisnt you, except for not claiming to be anything... but its hardly to never that anyone is offended by that...
i am very surprised that i didnt mention anything because in the past i have been more than willing to explain my beliefs and practices openly... but something inside me this time said that if i were to speak ill cause problems and potential damage... my reasoning is... if someone is comfortable in their spirtuality and you present something that makes them question their spirtuality it could make them "fall", disturb their comfort in their beliefs and that can cause major problems sometimes, i think, like uncertanty, doubt, resentment, hatred, anger, ect... and that would defeat my overall purpose...
i also have another class mate who is going through kimo and i feel very compelled to give her one of Grandmasters books, "Power of Mantra" but once again im not sure if its productive or damaging to do so... im torn... i feel like the book has something in it that she can benifit from but if it infringes on her current bliefs i can potentially be causing worse problems... spirituality is such a personal thing sometimes...
so when is it a good time to mention to someone and when to remain silent? or should i abandon this thought completely and just speak when ever the topic is relevant...

om mani padme hum

Last edited 08/26/02 at 17:15:14 by Buddhafly

Buddhafly08/26/02 at 17:21:17#2Re: When to explain and when to not...?

This is one of my favorite sayings by the Buddha:
If it is not truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is not truthful and helpful, don't say it.
If it is truthful and helpful, wait for the right time.
Buddha

What I find helpful is to pray about how can I help a particular person.

lian hua dance08/26/02 at 22:36:12#3Re: When to explain and when to not...?

:)
Well, brother L.,
when you said
... something inside me this time said ...

I think that was your answer.

Hard to come up with rules, and hard to always be right anyway. So we follow those little voices, and make mistakes sometimes. If we always speak or never speak, probably we are not learning where the right balance lies, which I believe must be in the sometimes area.
I find out what to say by opening my mouth and speaking. Sometimes I surprise myself, sometimes I embarrass my family.

lian hua dance

jessie08/27/02 at 04:45:42#4Re: When to explain and when to not...?

i usually dun tell people about my TBS except that I am a Buddhist... So far, a fren has turned enemies when he is of the opinion that TBS is "evil". When i tried to help him realise he is wrong, he would flash the ultimatum card, "if we wanna be frens, desert TBS".

So i resolved not to tell people too much of TBS unless they approached me first...

Recently, a colleague asked me whether i am a Mahayanist Buddhist, and i said Vajra Buddhism. Then he said which Master I had taken refuge in. I said "a Master in the US". He became excited and asked whether it is GM...he told me he has heard of TBS and asks me about it... I told him about GM and our Buddhism...He is interested in tibetan buddhism, but from my conversation with him, i realised he is more interested in awakening kundalini than looking for a way to end suffering or going to maha lotus pond...(I think he is wrong in his "interest", but who am i to judge)...nonetheless, i had asked him to come to a upcoming ceremony to decide for himself before taking refuge....

The rest really depends on the person -- his affinity. To believe or not believe, just leave it to his affinity. As for to explain or not explain, I would choose silence... If a person has affinity, he will apporach you somehow...

my humble opinion...

Lyciss08/27/02 at 05:43:03#5Re: When to explain and when to not...?

hey Jessie,
actually our practices are to also awaken kundalini... the breathing practices that are so important in TBS are so that we can one day open our chakras and light the fire in our naval chakra... otherwise refered to awakening kundalini... but you are right in the other aspect... this shouldnt be our only motivation for such practices... compassion for other beings is far more important in my opionion... if you can only achieve compassion and cant open the chakras you are worthy of great respect according to me...

and what if it was this girls affinity to be my partner at that moment and she was actually reaching out to me in the sense that she felt something from me... after all let me paint a picture, but dont get me wrong, i dont hold myself in high regards...

i was sitting on the massage table and she was sitting on a chair... she was lower than me and she had my feet in her lap and she was massaging them when the conversation took place... if i didnt know any better i would say the universe was telling me something at that moment but i think i hesitated and lost the right moment...

i feel very lucky to have gained any wisdom that i have through Grandmasters Dharma... however i shouldnt be proud of any accomplishments so ill humble myself and say im simply fortunate to be a TBS student

om mani padme hum

Last edited 08/27/02 at 05:43:52 by Lyciss

jessie08/28/02 at 04:48:04#6Re: When to explain and when to not...?

Yes, we are indeed fortunate to be GM's disciples!

Lyciss08/29/02 at 22:55:39#7Re: When to explain and when to not...?

Hey Bren,

Quote:

i like this saying and you have mentioned it to me a few times... the first 3 lines sit nicely into my mind and are easy to put into practice... however its that last line that puts me right back into unknowing... "the right time" is what im having problems with...

see if everything is karma, then the "right" time is never... but on the flip side since i have bodhichitta and my compassion for beings is increasing, the "right" moment is every moment... the moment i stop talking ill go against my bodhichitta... (mind explode)

om mani padme hum

Last edited 08/29/02 at 23:00:26 by Lyciss