I am working on it here.
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I'm going to share something I haven't told anyone about, only some family knows... the first part just sets the reason for why the second part takes place...
::first piece::
When I first got my drivers license I had really bad luck with getting pulled over by police... not so much because of speeding but I neglected to get car insurance since I couldn't afford it, or I didn't want to pay it... eventually my license got taken away and I had to walk where ever I needed or wanted to go... and my tickets haunted me from being able to get my license back...
jumping ahead...
::second piece::
I got my license back but I still didn't have a car... one day I really felt like I wanted to visit Redmond temple, but I didn't want to ask anyone to take me since I felt like it would be a burden to them and I didn't know Dance at the time... lol I also didn't have any money to ride the bus... I actually made a pilgrimage from Tacoma to Redmond by foot... for those of you who don't know how far it is, well it takes around an hour, sometimes longer by car, on the freeway... it took me two days on foot...
At the end of the first night I started experiencing back pain... probably due to an injury I got when I was younger... the way I see it, it is karma too... I got in a fight with my best friend because I stole money from his brother... he was a very strong fighter and during the fight he managed to bend me over his back and it did some damage to my back... I couldn't even do exercises in Gym class the next day and for several weeks afterward... I think I was 10 or 11... I was a very bad kid...
Anyway that first night I slept under a bride and my back pain was really bad I could hardly sleep that first night because it was difficult to move around even... I didn't know if I was going to head home in the morning or keep going... after waking up for the last time that morning I decided I couldn't no longer sleep and I felt pretty good so I decided to keep going... I noticed if I took it easy my back felt pretty good... I ended up taking a lot more rest breaks then the first day...
The second night I struggled to sleep because it was so cold but it really helped my back pain laying on the cold ground... by now I was too far to turn around as I saw it, so I kept going but I had to walk extremely slow otherwise I would hurt my back... I also had managed to pick up a 2 X 2 piece of wood about 6 1/2 feet long so I could lean on it as I walked at it helped my back from hurting so much...
I had never been to Redmond temple before so I wasn't quite sure where it was and not only that but I wasn't very familiar with Redmond either... I had to rely on a really bad map that didn't show most of the streets and the address... I got to the street corner that was as close to the address, but from this four way stop you cant see the temple... I was in so much pain and so tired... I had not ate anything that whole day... I sat there on that corner and all I could think was I was in the wrong spot... I was so out of it with energy I didn't feel like gambling by walking around the area to see if I could run into it... I really don't know how long I sat there I might of even fallen asleep... all I know is I decided to head back, I was done I have given up...
I had crossed the street and was walking back up the hill along the stone fence side... I had no idea that the temple was right on the other side of the fence... walking up that hill I had to take a break and I happened to stop right in the right spot as I could now see over the stone fence and I saw the Ancestor room! and right at that moment the smell of incense hit me like a brick! oh relief! all my energy came streaming back like a recharged battery...
Anyway I have a car now, I don't need to walk...
om mani padme hum
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I remember once praying praying for a car.
I didn't ask for anything special, just something so we could get from one place to another. Something that would help my husband to find work. Something that would only cost us a dollar. My prayer was answered!
My brother-in-law gave us their car for a dollar. I didn't think of asking to make the car an automatic. I attempted lessons with my husband and it didn't work.
At my wits end, I prayed again, this time asking for an automatic car, for a dollar. Nothing happened.
I was determined to make it to temple everyday even if I had to take the bus. I made a decision. I charted out the bus route, found where to buy a bus pass and the next day I would be ready.
The next morning a friend called me and asked me if I wanted her old car for a dollar! Yes it was an automatic! Oh course I said yes! I began going to temple all the time during the days then and practicing and learned quite a lot and my spirituality progressed very rapidly.
The point I am attempting to make here, is that I had to go through a process of helping myself out, not expecting the help anymore, letting go, to learn a very important lesson.
Last edited 10/14/02 at 21:33:01 by Buddhafly