I am sorry

I am sorry.

It is not my intention to offend anybody in any way, but it will not be fare to me to keep believing that I belong to a group, if I don’t.

I have been a Buddhist since 1997 (I am 43 now).  A year ago this month I took refuge in GM Lian Shen (along with two other friends who followed my steps).  To this date I have not yet received any type of confirmation of empowerment, nor confirmation for the two additional initiations I requested during this time.  I have already mention this matter to Master A. H. on several occasions, everything was delivered in person by a very dear nun from our local chapter.  This person also contacted the main office in Seattle, and the reply was that it got lost in the mail (several times?).  In recent months even a high ranking monk was contacted in Taiwan while meeting GM, but nothing… nobody knows anything.  I must point out that contrary to the popular believe that after empowerment one receives great positive changes in live, my live and that of the others mention above, have made a turn for the worse.  We are struggling with the simplest daily chords.  No, it is NOT karma, as some may say.  I have done every repentance practice available, including those from other Buddhist teachings, and after many many many meditations I am SURE that no empowerment was ever done to any of us, and of course the same goes for my other two initiations requested afterwards.  
Of course it is not about the money.  Money and spirituality don’t mix well.  It is about the embarrassment I feel when I see the other two people who took refuge.  It’s about the failed attempt to start a new group, with the statues and implements sent to us by a nun from a California chapter.  And it is about the complete disappointment I feel due to the fact that GM is not around to fix these small matters, to help those of us who are not Chinese.
At this moment I believe that TBS without GM is more about power struggle than Buddhism.  (Sorry GM).
A piece of paper won’t make the difference for me, but will sure have made the difference for those people just starting out in Buddhism with TBS.

I am still a Buddhist, I still believe that GM Shen Yen Lu is a True Living Buddha.  But I also believe that one year’s time is plenty to correct any mistake.

One only hurts if one really loves.

May you all find what you are looking for.

Lord Kung Tse   (of course that’s not my real name.  That is my self-given Buddhist name)

Yes,
it was remote (November. 2001).  But the registration form was delivered to Seattle in person by the nun. (mine, and two other).

Our shrine was taken down a few weeks ago.

Kung

Lord_Kung wrote (10/30/02 at 17:20:01):

author=Lord_Kung link=board=spiritual;num=1036024954;start=0#2 date=10/30/02 at 17:20:01

Dear Lord Kung,

I understand your frustration.  I just have a few things to say that you may find helpful.  If they're not helpful, that's ok.

The temple in Seattle receives a tremendous amount of mail on a daily basis.  You may already know this.  People write to the temple for all sorts of things, ranging from requesting refuge to help with life and death situations to help with removing a wart on one's toe (all joking aside).  Not to say that one problem is more important than another, they do have certain priorities on who they reply to first.  It is just very unfortunate that you and your friends still haven't received the refuge certificates.  

But when it comes down to it, the certificate is really just a piece of paper, something formal and material to show that yes, you are a certified student.

What you need to remember, and what you need to tell your friends is that from the moment you take refuge (by any means), it is considered valid.  The very second you complete the Fourfold Refuge Mantra with visualization, and write your letter seeking refuge, and mail it, fax it, or take it in person, it is considered valid.  The only extreme case where it is not is if Grand Master for some reason doesn't accept you as a student.

Don't let the fact that you haven't received the certificate make you feel as if your life has not improved.  There are a million reasons why it would or would not improve...

By cultivating to eradicate your karma, many obstacles will come into your life and it won't always be smooth sailing.  The more obstacles you overcome, the better the results of your cultivation.

One more thing, please do not take your shrine down.  Buddhas and Bodhisattvas would never turn any single being down--for this, you should not turn them down either.  They won't care if you take your shrine down, but the mere action of taking it down is like turning your back...

Om mani padme hum

Lord Kung

You sound quite frustrated. I called Seattle temple right now and related the issue to them. They felt very horrible and apologetical about the whole thing. They wanted me to apologize to you..

would you please email me with your info? Reverend and I will personally see that you get the certification. I gurantee with my own reputation that you will get the certication this time!

As far as your empowerment is concerned, please also send me the info, Reverened and I will make sure that empowerement requests are placed in the shrine. GM is in retreat but your request will be placed on the shrine by the reverend.

again, please accept our most sincere apology. I was on the phone for a long time and told her the entire story. she really felt horrible about it...


Lu also mentioned something about 9 months right? did you take it out? I will write to you on this email. I called Seattle temple about it. Two issues at the same time... I expressed your frustration for you two....they felt very bad...

In a way, I am glad that it happened. You two are not the only cases, I have seen many chinese complaining the same thing..about the slowness of the reply. "Busy" is not a good reason anymore after 9 or 10 months...or even one year and one month..

There is a serous procedural problem... Reverend told me that she will discuss it with other masters. Thanks for speaking it out. Without people's feedback, TBS can not improve.
Mimosa

#matters, to help those of us who are not Chinese.

That is totally not true. Chinese also complained to me that Seattle failed to deliver stuff to them. They are busy, but read my other posting...... The procedure is not effective, I already complained to them. It will be discussed in the headquarter.

out in Buddhism with TBS.
#I agree.


One only hurts if one really loves.
#I agree. So, what's about falling in love again?

If you still love, let's work together to fix the problem.

say, we send you the certification.
say, the 2 empowerments will be blessed and taken care by the seattle temple
say, if you start a small buddhist group, I will send you a set of GM's English books.

You can not ask for a better bargain :-)

Hurry up before I change my mind!

Mimosa

Dear friends (Mimosa / Luljeta)

Thank you.
That is the reply I expected.  I will explain a few things now..

Master A.H. was the first person to try to help me. (twice).
Our local (200 miles away) Reverend was in Seattle not long ago.  Also the Reverend was in Panama with Master Samantha and requested the necesary help.  The Reverend spoke with Master A.H. in Taiwan just 2 months ago during a Masters meeting.  Several people have already spoken to the Seattle office many times about it....well.....I believe the know the case very well by now, specially after your intervention.

About the Shrine...... We had a full set of statues (Padmakumara, Kwan Yin, Ksitigarbha, and more), many implements, a full set of articles for the altar.  Mostly gifts from a Reverend from California. We were very happy.

About the certificates.....there suppose to be 3 (mine plus 2 other people), and the confirmation for my other 2 empowerments (deity and compassion water). NOTE: I had a special request which had to be consulted personaly with GM, and He granted such request with my refuge.

One of the members of our group got his certificate just 3 weeks after taking refuge, and that created disappointment among the rest (about 7 people all together) because the rest of us had taken refuge many months before.

The group is not longer together and for that reason the shrine was taken down from our meeting place. ( I still have my personal shrine at home ).

I have been a Buddhist for many years now, and just wanted to be part of TBS, since I am so far away from home (New Jersey).

In any event...... I appreciate your efforts and understanding about this simple matter.  But I don't believe the group could be put back together again.  They no longer trust.
The one person who received his certificate, keeps in touch with me for help.

Also want to thank Mimosa for the books offer.  Sorry but I have every book by GM ever published in inglish (I hope ;D), including all the panflets and many Purple Lotus magazines.  I even got 'The Power of Mantra' which was sent to me from Singapore.

To finish........I have raised so much dust about this matter that as of now I belive it should be left alone as it is.  I would not make much difference for me to have the piece of paper now :o) But I am still open for any further comments.  Any additional info names, dates etc I'll be glad to provide, but not on a public forum.

With care
-Kung

p.s. Thanks for removing the other comments from above ;)

Dear Lord Kung & Dharma Brothers and Sisters:

I was reading your emails and the strings of replies that follows.  I was reading through not because I have ample time on my hand, but I was reading it because I felt great compassion for Kung and your Dharma friends.  

First and foremost, I feel the compassion of our Dharma Sisters herein.  I respect them for their efforts trying to help you -- Kung.

Second, I like to share my 2 cents worth of opinion on Kung's dilemma.  I'm only a speck of dust in this vast world -- amount to really nothing.  But deep down inside of my heart, I feel that the Buddhas and Boddhisattvas leave no one behind.

Your pain and suffering is no different than mine or anyone else in this world.  Only through self cultivation following the Buddhas and Boddhisattvas (thanks to our Great Grand Master Lu -- our father who have led us thus far) paths that we may become liberated.  Liberation may only take one life time or may take millions of life times to come... but we can be certain that the process of reaching there will be utmost enjoyable one through "our Dharma practice".  

Sir Kung, I know -- personally, that your cries have been heard by Avolokiteshvara Boddhisattva (Kuan-Yin Boddhisattva) or in Vietnamese "Duc Quan The Am Bo Tat".  

Just imagine that a flap from the wings of a butterfly right in front of our house can affect the weather on the other side of the world.  "Fear Not" Kung.  Our father Grand Master Lu and the compassion of Avolokiteshvara heed to your calling.
I am just like you, one of his son.

In closing, I will pray to Grand Master Lu and call out to Avolokiteshvara in my prayer tonight for you and for our Dharma family herein.

In closing I like to share a quote to you Lord Kung,

      "The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no
       preferences.  When love and hate are both absent
       everything becomes clear and undisguised.  Make the
       smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth
       are set infinitely apart."  
                                   Quote by Master Seng-T'San

Take care yourself,

John

Kung

Thanks for giving us a chance to fix a problem.

from California. We were very happy.
##I am from CA. Perhaps, there is a karma for it.

request which had to be consulted personaly with GM, and He granted such request with my refuge.
##as long as you state it very clearly on the email, I will take care of it.


In any event...... I appreciate your efforts and understanding about this simple matter.  But I don't believe the group could be put back together again.  They no longer trust.
The one person who received his certificate, keeps in touch with me for help.
##I dont see it as a *simple matter*. A group of students lost  faith and trust in TBS
is heartbreaking and frustrating. Not to mention that your group took down the entire shrine....

But, pardon me,I am very puzzled.  You said that  there were 7 students in your group.
3 never got the certification. Well, is there any other reasons that your group
breaking up? I meant, 4 of them still have certifications right? Also, missing a
certificiation is not the sole reason why you left TBS right? You mind share????
Just doesnt sound logical....


should be left alone as it is.  I would not make much difference for me to have the piece of paper now ) But I am still open for any further comments.  Any additional info names, dates
#It may make no difference to you have the paper, but it will make a big difference for
others. You are not just helping yourself, you are helping Seattle to learn there is a
procedural problem. You are also helping others not to experience the same thing you are
encountering. It is not joking matter.

Please think about it. If you can get the other two's names, I will take care of them too.

Your help will make a difference. Please bear with me and let's work on it.


Mimosa

It maybe too early to mention it, but I want to continue to comment it.

Many of you know the UPS tracking system right? You enter the tracking number, you know the status of the package. Well, the same idea can be borrowed and used for empowerment or any type of refuge. You enter the form and can keep track of the status of the empowerment or refuge. That way, you dont have to ask any Master or Reverend to check for you. They are too busy anyway.

People in the Chinese discussion have asked about the online registration, but I answered that it will take both an authoriative website and TBF (seattle temple) to work on it.
I asked Seattle the possibility of the idea,  they want someone to write a proposal to discuss it on the TBF meeting.
I have urged other chinese to write it, hopefully, someone else will :-)

at any rate, your problem just re-emphasized the need of the online registration

Mimosa

Dear friends,

Mr. John,
Thank you very much for your comment and prayer.


Hi Mimosa,
From the group of 7, only 4 asked for refuge..
Please give me a few days to meditate and try to talk to my friends, and I will let you know. 8)

Thank you so much

Kung

Okay,

Buddhas say "Listen to little Mimosa!!! ;D"
Dont let anyone else talk into otherwise, they may be Mara : ;D
Mimosa

I had a dinner with the reverend sort of in charge of letter correspondences. I talked about your case again. she told me that she had asked other masters and reverends, and on one has any recollection.  *dont get upset* :o

she asked me that how come the student didnt call the Seattle temple himself? I said that most people dont like to bother the Seattle Temple. They thought that it would be better if a Master relates the message. Well, the problem is that those Masters dont work in the correpondence group..wel, like the technical word I often use, "the packet has been dropped in the vast net.."...

anyway, just so you know..same as all of you... give seattle temple 3-4 months, after that, call them. If they dont speak English, try to see if they can find someone that can speak English. Maybe that they will learn there is a demand for English speakers.

Mimosa

#nglish. Maybe that they will learn there is a demand for #english speakers.

btw, there are reverends in Seattle that speak quite decent English. Besides, we Chinese are not so bad. If you voice your opinion loud enough, it will be heard.

Mimosa

Hi Mimosa:

I am afraid the news are not so good. :-/
None of the people involved seem to be interested about anything.
I guess, I'm the only one interested in this town at the moment (and the one person who got his certificate), and I am not sure I want to pursue the *confirmation* case. ???

I am also sad to hear that only one person in Seattle remembers, as I was told the opposite by the reverend here.

I really don't know what to do.....and I have my doubts about ever receiving any empowerment and the other initiations and special request.  I was told that there is a record about these things in Seattle........but......anyway.............does it really matter at this point???

Kung

Thanks for trying.  

I am also sad to hear that only one person in Seattle remembers, as I was told the opposite by the reverend here.
#one person? I didnt say any one person. Did I miscommunicate anything to you?

special request.  I was told that there is a record about these things in Seattle
#no record. I can assure you on that. Too many requests, they can not remember it.

........but......anyway.............does it really matter at this point
#does it matter to you? will it make you feel better if you get the certification? will it make you feel better if you receive the blessing? will you feel good that you help TBF fix a procedural problem and help them to understand that they have made a mistake.

I wont force you. Please think about it.

Mimosa

Hmmm indeed this is a tough issue. Well for one thing yes there are lots of people who speak english at the redmond temple cuz i used to call there all the time as a little boy but you just have to ask. I know the sangha is important for motivation in cultivation but what is really important is relying on self for motivation and doing the cultivation yourself is whats most important. Really i would be lying if i told you i am your poster boy cultivator who does it everyday and keeps every vow but when im on the right path its all because of GMs teachings online. I am never around TBS students anymore, i even tried to do my cultivation while i was in basic training and believe me its not the prettiest thing in the world when you snuck into a empty room in the barracks for a moment of buddhist reflection when big bad drill sargeant walks in and starts screaming at you. Now im hear in korea where 95% of GIs on there off hours are getting really drunk all the time (although sad to say ive been there myself) but i still gotta sit back a think "why am i sitting here contributing to samsara when i should be enjoying the greatest gift man has been givin by some one i personally knew(GM that is)". What a waiste of time. Thats it time to get on the padmakumara website to help motivate me to cultivate. Not my peers but me i need to cultivate to have expiriences so that i can help persuit others on this path. As far as the empowerment is conserned im sure our dearest sister Mimosa will take care of that asap.

On the part about not getting any responce, well people get very different responces for each person. One nun at the redmond chapter who i am closest with who treated me like a son since i was 12 years old has not gotten any visual type responces at all throught her many years of hard cultivation. But the thing is instead of that she is at the point of real happiness of life where there are no real differences between likes and dislikes and she does not have bad moods. She is a truely happy person even though from a common mans point of view her life is quite boring to say the least but you could not say that by looking at her. As for me, when i was alot younger and very ambitious about my cultivating i used to get all types of responce i used to dream auspiciously about GM pretty much everynight but now my responces are different. I am a bi polar manic depressive so i am constantly up and down and always trouble myself over why i feel that way but when i cultivate its a true stablizer and i just except things which truely gives me happiness and thats a good enough responce for me. I know im just rambling now but i just want say.... Are you sure you were not getting any responce, are you saying that you didnt feel different at all? maybe you were just expecting them too much cuz GM did state that to get responces you cant expect them for they come spontaineously. Take care every one and i hope you find your what you are looking for dharma brother.
Om guru lian shen siddhi hum!!!
Luke