So much suffering...

There is so much suffering in this world. There are different  degrees of suffering and everyone suffers differently, but suffering is still suffering. That has always been my motto. Sometimes, it is enough to drive a person mad.

The other day a close friend of mine asked me jokingly if Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva is my personal deity. By that, she meant that I take so much from other people and that I witness so much that Ksitigarbha must be my personal deity if I am still sane.

Two days ago, as I was on my way to the office,
I saw a man die right in front of me.  He was hit by a speeding truck and got stuck underneath.  I had no idea he got stuck underneath until two people who were in front of me started screaming "Oh my god..." and then I saw him on the ground.  His brains and teeth were everywhere. All I kept seeing all day was teeth scattered all over the ground.  My first reaction was to call the police and try to see if I could still view the truck's license plate number.   As soon as I got to work I immediately chanted Usnisa Vijaya Dharani 7 times for him, not being able to do much more with my boss standing over me.

It is difficult to view something so graphic and not be disturbed by it.  I kept thinking about the man, wondering if he had a family, wondering how it happened, on and on...Then I wondered why it is allowed in this world that a being could suffer so much!  I thought maybe it was his karma, but maybe it wasn't. Would it really have mattered if it was?  Then I told myself not to feel bad about it.  What happened to the people at WTC was worse...that experience  should have made me stronger. Then again, suffering is still suffering. How can one really measure it?

When I left later on, the street was cleaned up and everything was normal again, as if nothing ever happened.  As people passed by that spot, I wondered if they knew that they were walking on a spot that was previously splattered with flesh and blood. I cried. I wanted to bring flowers to that spot and light a candle for him. Then I remembered that everything is impermanent...and that suffering is still suffering.

Luljeta, just reading your email alone is too shaking for me, I can not image if I were there to witness the incident. **patting** I hope that you are feeling okay....

just curious, did you get the license number? did the guy run away?

Sometimes I wonder about the law in this samsara. So what if the guy gets caught. He will go to trial, and most likely be sentenced for 10 years. After 10 years, he continues on his life...

But, the guy just lost his life after one sudden crude hit. He may just get engaged, and his girlfriend will be soo heartbroken. What's about his family?  I can not think.

The law of karma is different. He gets hits this life, maybe because he hurts the person last life. But, then the law of karma is too harsh and obsecure. Not a simple-minded person like me can understand it.

hug again, luljeta...I feel your pain.

Mimosa

Luljeta's story really scared me, and I have been thinking about it.

Lujeta, have you been feeling differently???  Has your life changed??

sometimes...I am just saying sometimes... when a cultivator
witness such tragedy, he/she will enger the light of compassion that draw the deceased's attention. He/she will follow you and ask you to bardo deliver for him/her. Your life will become very unsmooth until you register the bardo for the person.

If you can, you may want to register him/her for the bardon deliverance . It is okay if you dont know the name, as long as you know the incident where it happened.

let me know if you need more help

Mimosa

I want to go on and tell you a real and spooky story. it is real, just the dharma sister didnt want to write the story down...I heard it from a reverend and wanted to share it with you.  I dont remember all the details...so bear with me and dont try to find a hole....

A Chinese dharma sister often  had  dreams about a black lady. The black lady appeared in her dream crying almost every other day. She was quite puzzled. Slowly the dream became very vivid, the black lady told her about her background including her name, education, family.....then, also gave her a phone number.

A phone number? for what? to whom? The black lady did say, just closed her eyes..... Out of curiousity, the chinese dharma sister called the number, there an mid-aged woman pick up the phone. The Chinese dharma sister said, "I am looking for ...(given a name)" The mid-aged woman said, "oh...oh...she was murdered couple of years ago...how did you get this phone number? what is your relationship with her? I am her mother."

The Chinese dharma sister told the mid-aged woman about her dreams and they both broke down in tears. So then the chinese dharma sister registered the black-lady for bardo deliverence and even installed her an ancenstor plate. Ever since then she didnt have any dream.

spooky right?

Mimosa

Hi Mimosa & Brenda,

I'm going to get to all of your posts in one post.  :)

Brenda, I can't even begin to imagine the horror you felt during the accident you mentioned.  Thank goodness everything turned out to be fine.  Thanks for the hugs, sending hugs to you too!

Mimosa, I didn't see the license plate number because I felt numb all over right after witnessing the event. My only reaction was to call the police. I took me a couple of days, but now I'm A-OK.  I don't think the man has followed me, but if he does I'll tell him to practice with me and invite him to the next bardo ceremony at the temple.  I will make sure to register him regardless.

Witnessing tragic events always puts life in a certain perspective.  It reinforces the teachings of Buddha and gives me a smack across the head, telling me to practice harder!  That is, after I recover from witnessing them...

What really helped me get over that is a dream I had about 2 weeks ago.  But before I mention the dream, I have to explain something first.  

Since the day I took refuge and till now, I am surrounded by purple light.  I don't have my third eye fully open, but the light is so strong that I can see it with my regular eyes in natural light.  I'm very used to it now, lol...For the first 3 months I had no idea what it was, until I was lucky enough to meet Grand Master, and even luckier to have a conversation with him.  When I asked Grand Master about it, he told me the purple light I see around me is from my Dharma Protectors.  

Now, back to the dream.  In the dream, Grand Master was giving a lecture on different types of lights.  People raised their hands to ask what certain colors of lights mean to  people who see them.  Then, someone asked about purple light.  Grand Master looked right at me and replied that people who see purple light have to endure a lot in order to reach enlightenment and fulfill one's vows faster.  

I identified myself with the dream since I'm surrounded by purple lights.  The dream gave me encouragement to be stronger and not let obstacles (and witnessing tragic events) get me down.  

Om mani padme hum

Lu

#.  Grand Master looked right at me and replied that people who see purple light have to endure a lot in order to reach enlightenment and fulfill one's vows faster


really? endure a lot to fullfil one's vows faster????
so all the suffering will be paid off

Mimosa

I don't know, but it did serve as an encouragement

Here is a happy thought below...

a pic of my fiance Alen and myself.  I just had a sudden urge to put it here.  He is my hero (literally!) but after Grand Master of course...

Heartiest congrats Lu and may your life hereon after be filled with the joy and encouragement of companionship. BTW, is he also a TBS disciple? If he is, even better for both of you. If not, it's time to practise your power of persuasion (or coercion?!)  ;)

Amitofo

Thank you Brenda and DragonBall  :)
Actually, we have been engaged for a little over a year, but thanks for the kind words. I just felt like posting the picture  because I was in a crazy mood yesterday.

I call him my hero because he saved me last year from the tragedy of 9/11. At that time he was my boyfriend. Three days later, he proposed to me.

He follows a sect that I don't know the name of in English. Translated, it would be 'Holy House.'  His mother took TBS refuge for him a few years ago because she was a student of GM for a brief period. He is vegetarian but because he does have the lineage of TBS, he delivers the meat that his family eats. I think at some point he will end up practicing within TBS alone.  I'm working on it  ;)  But even if not, some contrast is good.  We have interesting debates on what our Gurus teach.

Om mani padme hum

Lu